Companies- "what they really mean"

The companies have redefined themselves as...

1. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating
and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of
Microprocessors
11. HP : Hen Pecked
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First, and Let them go
16. DELL : Deplorable Equipment & Lackluster
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. PCL : Poor Computers Ltd
20. SPARC : Simply Poor And Redundant Computers
21. SUN : Surely Useless Novelties
22. CRAY : Cry Repeatedly After an Year
23. TUL : Troubles Un Limited
24. CTS : Coffee, Tea and Snacks
25. ICIM : Impossible Computers In Maintenance
26. BPL : Below Poverty Line.
27. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
28. MBT : Monkey & Buffelo team
29. ASTL(Akshay): Always sleeping tired lions
30. PCS : Pathetic Computer System.

This is the life of a computer engineering student who studies very
hard but do not get job due to "recession".
He is writing to his first-sight loved gal.
And here it is...........
Baby, I saw you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realised that you are the only site I was browsing for.
For a long time, I've been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now. My life is just an uncompiled program without you that never produces an executable code and hence is useless.
You not only have a beautiful face, but all your Activex controls are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful that it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.
When you looked at me last evening, I felt all my program modules running smoothly and giving expected results, which I have never experienced before.
With this letter, I just want to convey that, if we linked together, I'll provide you with all the objects and libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life.
Also don't bother about the firewall, which may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I'll ultimately break their security passwords and make them accept our marriage.

Boy gets fucked throughout the life

Life is indeed cruel to men. When they are born their
mothers get compliments and flowers, when they get
married , their brides get presents and publicity
and when they die their wives get the sympathies
and the insurance money.
I sincerely believe that whosoever termed the fair sex as the weaker sex has done an unfair thing since the weaker sex is indeed the stronger sex because of the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex.
The world is full of men who convert this weakness into a lifelong bondage, euphemistically called 'marriage'. Alas, they forget that as bachelors they were longingly looked upon by the weaker sex as 'a thing of beauty and BOY forever' and they roamed around like a rolling stone that gathers no boss.

But unwittingly, like fools, they rush into a venture where even angels fear to tread. They are perhaps too innocent to realise that marriage is the name of the game where the man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's degree. But different bachelors have different compulsions to walk into this bondage. Sometimes stealing a kiss leads to life imprisonment. Some others walk into this trap after calculating that it is cheaper to marry a Girl and keep her home than not to marry and take her out.

But those who marry in haste repent in leisure also. It is true that marriages are made in heaven but when the couple join hands on the earth it becomes just another union that defies management. As the resonance of the wedding recedes into the background the notes of discord
start appearing and the 'better half' starts looking like the bitter half.
It does not take long for the man to wonder what happened to the girl he married and for the girl to wonder what happened to the man she didn't. But most often the discord happens on account of the average husband's ambition to be able to afford what his wife is spending. As
it always happens in such cases, the joint account is never over-drawn by the wife, it is always under-deposited by the husband.
The harmony arising out of love is the essence that sustains marital happiness. It has certain well defined secrets. To be happy with a man you must love him a little and understand him a lot. To be happy with a woman you have to love her a lot and understand her a little.

Every husband expects himself to be his wife's first love while every wife hopes herself to be her husband's last romance. In the ultimate analysis,however, marriage turns out to be a cafeteria: you choose what you like and pay for it later. What you pay and how much you pay depends upon your luck. For, it takes quite a bit of luck to make a wife out of a woman.

Remember! God created Woman after Man, and ever since then she has been
after man.

What happen after marriage and before marriage

before marriage there is love and after marriage there is extra marital love,,,,,,,,,,,


Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad -Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:-)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:-(

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

Modern Sign board

Fantastics signboard


**Signs of Our Times... **
*Veterinarian's Office sign:
"All unattended children will be given a free kitten"
*Plumber's Shop:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
*Pizza Shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
*At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
*Door of a Plastic Surgeon's Office:
"Let us help pick your nose."
*Sign at the Psychic's Hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."
*At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
*Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
*On an Electrician's Business:
"Let us remove your shorts."
*In a Veterinarian's Office:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
*In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
*On Maternity Room Door:
"Push, Push, Push."
*At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right
place."
* On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
* In a Podiatrist's Office:
"Time wounds all heels."
* On a fence:
"Salesmen Welcome: Dog food is expensive."
* Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."
* Inside a Bowling Alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
* In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
* In a Counselor's Office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
* Lot outside Veterinarian's Office:
"Parking for Customers Only, all others will be Neutered.

Be A man- and enjoy

It's Good to Be a Man!

1.Your last name stays put

2.The garage is all yours.

3.Wedding plans take care of themselves.

4.Chocolate is just another snack.

and many more reason
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this
one's just too licky.

Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress Rs.5000.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
 
One mood, ALL the damn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
 

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is Rs.195 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking:"He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five
colours.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
 Festival shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, in 45 minutes.